April 28, 2017
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” — MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. Mastering quoted by Kerry Patterson in Crucial Conversations
Does this pattern sound true of many (of you?):
- Pre-teen – Pretty much blurt out whatever is on your mind
- Teen – Your mouth starts getting you in trouble, so you learn to say less of anything controversial
- Adult – It is easier to hide your feelings so unless something is going to immediately impact you in a severely negative way, just keep your thoughts to yourself
Unfortunately I would say this accurately describes me. It has negatively affected my relationships with my wife, my kids, my friends, coaches I have coached with, and everyone else I interacted with.
The good news is I have been becoming aware of a better way to live life over the past few years. Recently reading the book Crucial Conversations has really inspired me on how much better life is when we engage in important conversations, instead of suppressing our feelings.
This is so true with our coaching staffs too. Think about it – can you think of a group of people who are more passionate, competitive, confident, or strong-willed?
While this is a recipe for passion, it is also a 100% guarantee that there will be differing opinions on the best way to do things – That’s OK, there should be!
Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress — Mahatma Gandhi
I strongly encourage you to read Crucial Conversations in the offseason with your coaching staff, and then to set up a plan on how you are going to communicate as a staff to make sure everyone’s opinions are being heard and frustrations are in the open instead of being suppressed.
A recent podcast guest Coach TJ Rosene shared that his teams establish that all communication must have 3 elements:
Make this a goal with your teams this season!
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in baskets of silver – Proverbs 25:11